9.17.2008

Unusually happy...

Okay here we go again...

Another week gone and a new time to blog.

Today's blog will be slightly different than many of my other blogs. What I mean by that is that it will be a little more personal than most things I've written about before, with exception to writing about my brother Ben or writing about my missionary girlfriend Mary.

Aside from being downright exhausted over the last couple of weeks, I have noticed something else about myself. It's something not too extraordinary or out-of-this-world-weird, but it's a behavior change that has become a habit, or a consistent lifestyle.

Those who know me well know that I am usually pretty easy going and that I enjoy a good laugh. I'd consider myself a pretty outgoing fellow. Anyways, right after school started, I began to stress out a lot. Anyone who has worked full-time and gone to school full-time knows what I'm talking about. It's crazy. So I was getting very stressed out. I couldn't concentrate much at all and I just wasn't happy.

Lately, though, as I have previously mentioned, something has changed. I am what I call 'unusually cheery' considering the stresses of school/work/life that I have or should have right now.

Well, over the past 24 hours I have been thinking about the "why."

I guess what triggered my pondering was when I went to pay $139.00 to the Provo City Police Department for my speeding ticket I got a few weeks ago. I had to pay for my ticket and for traffic school, and it added up to that glorious amount.

So I walk in the building, and I'm sporting a cheap pair of sunglasses I found at a park in Provo during the summer. They are the 80's style shades, with black frames and hot pink sides. I've discovered how ridiculously good looking I am in them, so I can't ever stop wearing them....

Wow, tangent. So I walk in and I have to put all my metal objects in a little cup and put my backpack on the little conveyor belt x-ray machine thing. The security guard starts telling me how awesome those glasses are and that he used to wear them when he was my age and it was for sure "the thing." I'm glad I could take him on a retro journey with my stolen shades...

Then I go up to the desk and start making stupid jokes with the ladies that were working there. I'm asking about half-off coupons for tickets, or student discounts. You know, ridiculous things.

Then after a few jokes and laughs, I stopped and something hit me.

"I don't think I've ever been this upbeat while paying for a ticket before." That was only my second ticket in my life, but what I was really getting at was: "There's got to be a better reason for me being jovial right now. It definitely isn't this ticket."

So long story short (or a little shorter) is this: The only thing different about the me now and the me a few weeks ago has been my increased effort to be more spiritual. It has been an exceptionally slow process, but I have been patient with myself as I try to climb a spiritual ladder, striving for a higher personal plane. (plain?).

I 'blame' part of this on the classes I am enrolled in at the UVU Institute. I have been more opened to exploring, discovering, and pondering about the scriptures of God. And to say it quite frankly, I don't really care if you don't share the same beliefs as me, that's your right. But I have no shame in saying that I believe whole-heartedly in God and in His Gospel. My efforts to be more spiritual throughout my life have proven to be the 'molding' moments. They have shaped me into who I am today, and that is a person I am pretty happy with right now. Now, obviously, I say and do a lot of really ridiculous things, but I love to laugh at myself more than almost anything else.

But I'm happy. 'Unusually' happy.

5 comments:

Leah said...

You should know, Mckay, that you already give off that very spiritual and unusually happy vibe to everyone that comes in contact with you. I mean it. There is not one of our mutual friends that would say otherwise. Thank you for posting this though. It seriously is inspiring to me. You are someone who I look up to immensely for always being spiritual and unusually happy, and here you are trying to improve upon it. Wow, I definitely have a ton of room to grow. You are a great example, and I'm so glad you're my friend. Have a great rest of the week! I'll have an even better one because of you!

The Payne Family said...

Amen! Thanks for sharing... I'm glad to hear that you are doing really well.

PS, I can relate with the school and work thing... it is rough and extremely exhausting but most definitely worth. Keep up the good work!

Joey Shepherd said...

That's so how I feel right now. Joey and I have been better at reading our scriptures alone and together every night. It makes such a difference. I just feel a lot happier than normal. Oh and I quit my job. That has something to do with it too but mainly the spiritual aspect. Holy cow only about 9 weeks left 'til Mary comes home and I have my baby girl! YAY!!

brookie84 said...

McKay can I just tell you that you inspire me??? You are pretty much amazing and I am sad that I dont see you more often!!! I am glad that your life is going well, good for you!

Wendy said...

I applaud you for realizing the real reason for your happiness -your increased efforts in the spiritual arena. A lot of times we pass it off as more simple things, like talking to friendly people or those funky glasses that for some reason just make you happy, instead of the deeper truth of drawing closer to Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. Way to go and thanks for the reminder.